I Am Broken

The pain that I feel right now is unbearable. I thought that I was a partner in a happy marriage. Apparently I was the only one who was happily married. Last week my husband walked out. He's been back everyday to see the kids until today. Today he is just too tired. He says he hasn't been sleeping since he left. And my response is, I pray he doesn't get a wink of sleep until he comes back to his family.
At this point I haven't eaten a bite in 5 days. I just can't make myself eat. I'm barely sleeping and when I do sleep one (or all) of the boys have to sleep with me because an empty bed feels so unnatural after 12 years of marriage. Of course the kids are comforted by sleeping there too. They are having such a hard time. They just don't understand. I don't understand either.
This whole thing is just unreal to me. It is like a switch has flipped and the man that I love is transformed into someone else. Someone with no heart or emotion at all. He seems so cold. This is not the man that I married 12 years ago. That man meant it when he took his marriage vows before God.
He has killed a part of me that will never live again. Even if he comes back I just don't know how it could ever feel the same again. It feels like a little more of me dies everyday. I miss him so much. I am just a bundle of emotions. I am sad beyond anything I could ever describe. I am hurt more than any words could ever tell. I am angry. I feel betrayed. I am broken.
All I can do at this point, the most important thing I can do at this point, is pray. Every night the boys and I pray for him. We pray for his happiness, even if it isn't found with us. We pray for strength to get through this and happiness on the other side of it.
If you are a praying person, we would love it if you would remember us in your prayers.
Let me know if you are praying for us. It is encouraging to know that we are not alone.