from the other side...

So, It's been a while since I've posted at all. Not on this blog or on either of the other two. Let me tell you that it isn't because there has been nothing to write about. PLENTY has been going on.
The divorce has been final for a tiny bit over a week. I have taken my maiden name back. I have full custody of my four babies and Tommy sees them 8 days per month. He never even calls between visits. I think he is happy with his part time parenting duties. Without having to take an active role in the lives of his children, he has more time to spend with his new family; More time to devote to another man's son. I am also happy with this arrangement. It could only be better if he were gone from their lives completely. I don't say this because I am just being a spiteful EX wife. I say it because He is neglectful and abusive to his children and it would be less traumatic for them if he just walked away and let a better man take his place.
I still have been unable to find a job that would meet the unique needs of my family. However, I am sure that God has the perfect job waiting out there some where for me! :) I have been able to do some freelance photography work which has helped with some of the bills. YAY! God did recently provide some of the photography equipment I needed for some potential jobs. So, who knows? Maybe photography will be the thing that pays the bills for some time to come. I am praying LOTS about that. How awesome would it be to be able to make my own hours since I am a single mother of four!? Y'all could pray about that for me too... I'd appreciate that. :)
In other news, There's this man...
He makes me smile. He makes me laugh (a LOT). He makes me feel very special. My children LOVE him and he is fantastic with them. I am so thankful that he is in my life right now. He has made things SO much easier in so many ways. He has not only made things easier for me, but for the kids as well. He is truly filling a gap that I think we thought would be empty forever. I'm not saying he's the one. I don't even wanna THINK about going there at this point. But right now... I'm glad he is here in our lives and in our hearts.
Through this whole thing I have prayed that we would come out better, stronger and happier on the other side of this divorce. I know that many of you have been praying with me. Thank you. So here we are, on the other side. The kids are happier and less afraid everyday. They act like kids. They run and play and act silly without fear in their home. :) They still have questions. They are still confused about a lot. But all in all, they are doing well. My little Tommy has given his heart to God and accepted Jesus as his savior. He was Baptized last Wednesday. He asked me not to invite his dad or even tell him about it because He didn't want his dad (or his dad's girlfriend) to be upset with him for following his heart and being baptized even after they told him that he was too young to understand what he was doing. He understands. He was excited. He is on his way to heaven! WOO HOOO!!!
As far as I am concerned... I smile brighter and more often. I laugh now. I cry, but not often. It is true that my heart is not what it once was. It will never be again. I'm not sure how hearts work again after they have been shattered. I do know that HE is putting it back together again in His own time and in in His own way. I know that when He is finished with my healing I will love deeper and stronger and without restraint or condition. I will trust fully and freely and without fear. When He is finished remaking my heart and when He is ready to share it with another, it will be the perfect gift for His perfect mate for my soul.