OMGsh!!!
♫Crazy,♫ My children are driving me CRAZY!♫
Tommy is losing his temper and screaming and hitting walls and stuff like that. It's kind of scary to think what this could progress into as he gets older and this disorder gets harder to handle. I can hear it in my head right now. All the voices saying, "If that were my kid he wouldn't be acting like that, I would bust his butt and show him who is boss." and blah blah blah blah. I know the speech all too well. Mine use to be one of those voices. I use to know a lot more about parenting until I actually became a parent. Now I find myself at a loss all the time. I just don't know what to do sometimes. That makes me feel helpless. I wonder if other parents feel that way too. I wonder if there is another mother sitting somewhere right now with the same fears as mine, with the same concerns for her children as I have for mine. I wonder if she feels as helpless as I do when my boys go into meltdown. I wish I could talk to her, encourage her and be encouraged by her. I wish I could get little bits of advice on how to deal with all the challenges that come along with special needs kids. I wish there was a manual that we could pour over together. I wish there was someone who understands; Someone without judgement to pass and criticism to give.
I am thankful for the new meds and I hope they work at the low doses so that we don't have to keep tweaking it again and again. I hope that when Isaac gets his meds they work well for him too. I'm sot sure how much more of all this I can handle. I know that God knows how much I can take and He won't let it go past that amount. I am thankful for that knowledge. I think I may go right over the edge if I didn't know how He works.
I know that He said I would never be tempted above what I could bear. but He promised that with the temptation would come a way out. I wonder where that way leads. I wonder if it leads to that mother, that friend I long for. I wonder if maybe He is that parent. The parent of a troubled child. The parent that has a broken heart for His children as I have for mine. I wonder if maybe I already have the manual and just need Him to help me understand it. I wonder if I could talk to Him just like I could talk to another parent, maybe as I have a cup of coffee in the early morning when I am all alone in the quiet. I wonder if I could start the day out on a positive note instead of with the dread of another day full of that helpless feeling that always seems to come. I wonder....

Wow. What a day. We had 3 appointments today within 2 1/2 hours. It was kinda crazy. I hope to never have to do it like that again.

Isaac and Tommy had therapy and then Tommy saw the psychiatrist for the first time.

When we first started to wonder if something was wrong, I started reading everything I could get my hands on. I came to the conclusion that I thought he had ADHD and ODD. After going to therapy for a while and now seeing the psychiatrist, it turns out, I was right. He has both. I wish I had been wrong. I hope that catching it and treating it early will make a big difference to him. Especially with the ODD. ODD stands for oppositional defiant disorder. It is just as scary as it sounds. If you haven't heard of it, you should look it up.

He has been put on two different meds. I hope they work for him without causing any side effects. I feel like he really needs this. I feel like he may only get worse without it. I hope that we also have good result from the meds that I know they will be putting Isaac on. If you are reading this, I sure hope you will pray for all of us. It would be great if you would let me know you are praying. I would be encouraged by that.

My Monday was a pretty good one! I got a tiny bit of housework done...although a normal person probably couldn't tell I'd done anything at all. I made lasagna (from the freezer) and garlic cheese bread (from scratch). For the latter, I used the bread machine. The recipe was a good one but the bread didn't get done in the allotted amount of time and I had to finish it up in the oven. That means that the inside was really soft and kinda moist (lots of cheese) and the outside was as hard as a rock! Tommy swore it was good tho.
Our friend, Adam came over tonight. He's always good company. He's quite funny. Tommy likes him a lot. I'm glad of that. My sweet hubby needs more friends. He kinda keeps to himself. I'm glad they have become friends. We all watched New Moon. It's pretty much a chick flick but the watched it anyway...and liked it. Good guys!
The kids behaved themselves while he was here, for the most part. Sam was very vocal and just would not be quiet. She's such a talkative little thing. She still refuses to say Mama tho.
Isaac and little Tommy have therapy tomorrow afternoon. I know they need to go but it is not something I am looking forward to. I haven't seen any results yet, good or bad. I hope to see some soon. Tommy goes to his first visit with the psychiatrist this Thursday. I'm a bit nervous about that. I'm not sure what I'm gonna hear from her. I'm not sure about meds and stuff like that. I know he needs something to change before school starts again. Part of me is looking forward to trying meds. the rest of me is worried that it will change him too much. I have seen kids who are either on too much medicine or on the wrong kind altogether. I don't want him to be a little zombie boy. But I don't know how much more I can take of things the way they are right now. I'm praying that they find the right med. and the right dose on the first thing they try. That isn't too much to ask is it?

Attention Parents and Grandparents!!!

CutiesNBeauties is announcing thier very 1st pageant- A Fairy Tale Dream! The location is TBA :)
*ENTRY FEE: $100 includes EVERYTHING!
*SIBLING DISCOUNT:$175 for 2
*DEADLINE FOR DEPOSITS: Sept 1, Deadline for full payment is Sept 15th, any time after to enter will be $115. door entries IS LIMITED and fee will be $125!
this pageant is semi glitz, which means no make-up on 0-4 yrs light age appropriate on 5 and up. Glitz dress are allowed! No flippers, no hairpieces, or tanning! Sorry:(

-Deadline to enter is Sept. 1st

*ATTIRE: Sunday's Best or Glitz Pageant dress
Princess OOC(can be any princess u choose)
Can be any cartoon character for the boys!
*AGE GROUPS:
(for girls) 0-12 months
1-2 yrs
3-4 yrs.
5-7 yrs
8-10 yrs
11-13 yrs
(boys)0-12 months
1-2 yrs
3-4 yrs
*AWARDS:
-Grand supreme 0-4: 7" tiara, sash, & 32" trophy
5-12: 8" tiara, sash, & 3ft trophy
THERE IS POSSIBLE CASH AWARDS FOR THE GRAND SUPREMES, WITH MINIMUM OF 10 ENTRIES!!!!!!!!

-Queen(each age division): 5" tiara, sash, & 18" trophy
-Princess(each age division): 3" tiara, sash, & 16" trophy
-OOC(overall 0-4, 5-12yrs): 3" tiara, sash, and 12" trophy
-Photogenic: awards TBA
-prettiest hair:sash
-pretties smile: sash
-pretties eyes: sash
-most beautiful: sash
-best personality: sash
-each contestant WILL get a participation trophy!!!

~awards are subject to change, only if I can find bigger and better ones:)
for more info email us at cutiesNbeauties@rocketmail.com

Wow! What a day! It is amazing how quickly God Chooses to work sometimes. You can be sitting there minding your own business and suddenly He drops a blessing right in your lap!
In few months I will be on my way to Kentucky to shoot my first pageant! I am so excited! Things seem to be moving right along in this photography career What a truly awesome God we serve! I know that nothing good that happens to me would be possible without Him!
I'm bit nervous about the job since it is my first of it's kind, but I know that there will be more to come if i do well. And I know that with His help I can do very well, better than anyone could have anticipated!! I haven't told my sweetie yet. He is asleep and I haven't been to bed yet. Since it is 4 in the morning and I have to be up at 5:30, I guess there will be no sleep for me tonight! That's ok. I am so Excited, I can't wait to tell him when he gets up!
YAY God and Yay me!

Today was a great day until it was time to come home. The kids and I went to our friend Kodi's house where the kids played and kodi and I talked wedding plans and photography poses. It was great! We had pizza and COLD water. There's nothing better than the company of a great friend, hot pizza and a cold drink. Then When Josh (kodi's husband) got home from work we went to the park and had so much fun. The kids played and played while we sat in the shade of a nearby tree. It was nice and relaxing. We occasionally made our way to the playground to give the kids a push on the swings or take a trip down the slides. We then played in the river...or the kids did. But we got wet anyway. As we were leaving I slipped in the mud and hurt my BAD knee and my BAD back again. I couldn't even drive myself home (thanks for the ride, Kodi). Yay me. Thank God for narcotics.

Loving my time alone with the hubby... Even if I am just taking him to the doctor. Man we need a real date. I feel like a kid when we are alone together!!!