What an early start to the morning. The hubby's truck isn't working so we all had to get up this morning and take him to work. He had to be there by 6 am....Naps all around later!
Well maybe not for me. I'll be leaving the boys at the sitter and going to the doctor. I am growing tired of all the dr.'s appts lately. Seems we all have to go for some reason. And with 6 people in the family, that's a lot of appointments! Since the car accident the kids and I all have to go to the chiropractor 3 times a week now! Like I said, That is a LOT of dr's appts!
We got the kids report cards just the other day. They are both doing great. They are both on the honor roll! I'm so proud of them!
Isaac is still having real trouble reading. I am sure he is dyslexic. We will find out soon. It doesn't seem soon enough tho. He doesn't go for his eval. until January! It was scheduled sooner but we had to reschedule it. I don't even remember why now.
Tommy is doing great in school. It is hard to remember not to compare them to where other kids are at the same age. There is no such thing as the average child and I need to stop measuring my kids against and imaginary creature! One of the reasons they go to the school they go to is so they can work and develop at their own pace...so they aren't forced into the mold of the "average child". Isaac may not really learn to read until he is much older...especially if he is dyslexic. But that is ok with me. Once he learns to read school will get easier. Right now he hates it mostly because they want him to read and he feels like he can't so he doesn't even want to try. I think it's more a self confidence issue than anything else.
It is time to get them ready for the sitter. gotta go!

I feel like screaming

OMGsh! What a day this has been so far.
This will be the kids first year trick or treating. We have never celebrated Halloween before. Personally, I don't wanna get it started but this was not my choice.
We picked today to get them to clean their room, when all they can think about is dressing up and eating candy. This ha been going on for a few hours now. I know their room was a mess but good grief.
They can not get along with each other today. They keep screaming and fighting. It's been a crappy day. I can't quit shaking. It's even hard to type. I just feel like crying. Tommy is off somewhere on his motorcycle. I'm beginning to hate that thing. It's like a mistress with wheels. It seems that when he isn't at work he is either riding his bike or working on it. And I'm left in here alone with 4 little screamers.
It's not that I don't love my family. I DO. I really DO. I just think I need to take a little time for myself away from the kids. A little time away with Tommy would be even better. But I just don't see that happening. First I'd have to drag him away from his bike and then I'd have to actually have someone who is willing to keep 4 kids at one time. :(
Put the frustration together with being sick all the time and there you have my life. I swear I feel like I am just falling apart. It seems such a young age to be feeling this way. The latest thing is a bum pancreas.Six months ago, I spent 7 days in the hospital because of my gall bladder, my pancreas and my liver. They removed my gall bladder and lots of stones in the ducts in there and that calmed down my liver and pancreas. I thought it was all better but suddenly my pancreas is inflamed again. I just want it to normal again. Apparently that isn't ever gonna happen.
So there. I've whined.
There is another thing that is really bothering me. I guess I could just make this whole post a rant and tell you about that too.
It is Samantha. A few months ago, at her last check up, the Dr. said she was developmentally delayed. I knew this already since we already have 3 other kids. He said that he thinks she is showing the early signs of a Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) also known as an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Isaac, our oldest, has a PDD called Asperger's Syndrome. This is probably what is going on with Sam. She seems to be a bit more behind than he was at this age. She still isn't walking and she only says Dada. Nothing else. Just Dada. She's just under 16 months old. At first I wasn't sure I agreed with the doc. But as time goes on and I see no developmental advancement, I think he may be right. This is heartbreaking. I know what a hard time Isaac has and I hate to think of how things will be for Sam. There is also a bit of selfishness in there. I'm also worried about me. I have a hard time handling what I already have on my plate. I'm not sure how I can handle more. I know people will say that God will not put more on you than you can bear. Unfortunately I know that the scripture actually says that we will not be TEMPTED above what we are able to bear but with the TEMPTATION, we will also be given a way of escape. Those are two very different statements. Don't get me wrong, I don't believe that God is piling things on just to see how much it takes to break me. It isn't that at all. I just know that even in scripture God's people were several times in situations that proved too much for them. In these situations we are to call out to God, to rely on His strength and not our own. We have to do this because it really is more than we are able to handle so he has to handle it for us. It is awesome to know that He can and will take care of us in hard situations. The hard thing is to trust him to do it. The creatures we are, it is hard to put the ball in any one's court but our own. I am trying to give my kids to the Lord a little more each day. I know that He can handle all the things that I can't.
In Christ,
Shirley

my beautiful little monster

Wow. Today was a very long and trying day. Little Tommy has got me at my wits end. I'm not even sure what to do with him anymore. I feel so helpless because it seems that nothing I do seems to work.
He laughs at me when I try to discipline him. He screams and throws, kicks and punches things. He is just generally hateful. He is MEAN to his brothers and even to his little sister. She is only 15 months old and he screams at her just like he does at his brothers.
He can be the sweetest little guy you have ever met. But only when he chooses to be. The trouble is, he rarely chooses to be.
So what is his problem you may ask?
He has ADHD, Bi-polar disorder and ODD.
I'm sure you are familiar with ADHD and maybe even bipolar disorder but it seems that no one has any idea what ODD is. ODD stands for Oppositional Defiant Disorder. Say that out loud and slowly to yourself. Oppositional Defiant Disorder. It is just as scary and hard to deal with as it sounds like it would be. As a matter of fact I have no idea how to deal with it. No idea at all! So if any of you out there have a child with similar issues, please comment. I would love to hear from you!

Went walking tonight with a great friend of mine. Her name is Toy. I had a good time. It was nice to get out of the house away from the noise and the never ending mess.
I think we will be doing it on a regular basis...which will be good for my mind and my body!
When I got home, all the kids were in bed. Of course the are not all asleep. That would be too easy! But in bed is better than out.
I have been praying alot about my photog business. I know all businesses are slow in the beginning. But I sure wish mine would be the exception to the rule. I'm not sure what to do to speed things up. All I know to do is pray. So I will keep doing that!
The boys are not on any meds right now. After only 2 tries I am not sure I want to do this again. I felt so guilty. The side effects were obvious and awful for them both. I know we should keep trying and after a short break, we might. but just not right now.
I am so sleepy. I think it is bed time!

I'm tired. I'd like to sleep all day. I did that, as much as possible, yesterday. I woke up feeling the same. Even tho sleep is what I want...I don't think it is what I need.
I'd like to have a pill. A magic one that makes everything seem perfect even when i know it isn't. Wouldn't it be great to have an Alice in Wonderland cake or drink that made you fit what ever the situation. Wouldn't it be great just to fit?

both the boys are on new medicine. This is Tommy's second kind and Isaac's first. It is Adderol. I don;t think that this is the right one for either of them. Both are complaining of not feeling well at all. Tommy says he feels like he's shaking. He also said that he feels like jumping in a volcano. I'm not sure what that means. He cries at nothing and lays on the couch all day. I hate this. He's laying here screaming at me because he doesn't want to watch what is on tv right now. I'm supposed to call my friend April but I can't because it is so loud in here there is no way I could hear her or she could hear me. urg!

My dad gave Isaac a guitar. It is the perfect size for him and he carries it around the house. He strums it like crazy. It makes him feel cool. :) Mr. Tony will be giving him guitar lessons at school this year. I'm excited about that. I know that Isaac is too.

I have been cleared by my cardiologist to have my long awaited hysterectomy. YAY! I never thought I'd be glad to have surgery. am really looking forward to this. Maybe I can take natural hormone replacement supplements and finally get all straightened out.

Poor Isaac feels horrible. Stupid medicine. He is very vocal about how rotten he feels. I feels sorry for him. And Tommy seems t be extra sensitive to sounds...especially the sound of little Jacob's voice. But hey, I think we are all sensitive to the little screamer, lol.

Well. I could write about their fighting ans fussing all day...but I think I will sign off for now.

Until next time,

Shirley

He knows! He knows what we need. I just hope He agrees that we need it now! Lol!