I look back over the previous posts on this blog I am completely ashamed of myself for the way I feel right now. I totally feel sorry for myself. I feel like every time I take a few steps forward I not only get knocked back a step or two. I get knocked down flat on my rear. This has happened so many times I think my booty is bruised.
Normally I would be positive and declare that all things happen for a reason and that it will all work together for my good. Lately I'm just not feeling it.
I read about mountains moving and waters parting. I know it is real. I know it happened. I know HE did it then and is still able to do it now. I know all the promises. I know all the stories. I know all the scriptures. I don't need one more person to quote me a scripture and tell me to just stop worrying and smile.
I need a mountain to move in MY life. I need that big ocean of problems that is standing between me and my peaceful outcome to just part and let me walk right on through on dry ground. I need it to close up swallowing all my troubles behind me. I need my car fixed so I can take my kids to church and to their psychiatrist and to therapy so they can learn to deal with their emotions in a healthy way. It would be kinda great if I could get back to therapy as well. It would be fantastic if I could find a job so I could provide for my babies. It would be great if I could pay my bills. It would be amazing if my dead beat ex husband would pay his child support or go to jail like the law says. It would be great if we could actually have hot water in the house. It would be nice if the oven would work. Those are my mountains. I'm done trying to climb across them. I'm too tired now. I want them moved.
